As I round the bend into the final few weeks of the semester I am forced to wonder how I managed to make it this far. I am no longer a mere college student but a pre-service teacher staring real life in the eyes. In less than two months I will be a student teacher. In less than six months I will be a certified teacher looking for her first job. Never have I imagined that I would actually achieve this. I have waited 22 years for this very point in my life, my educational career. I have put in countless hours of studying, survived hundreds sleepless nights, plowed through thousands of ill constructed tests and about one hundred mini-mental breakdowns all for the sake of my hope of becoming the teacher I know I can.
When I think back on it all, I wonder to myself how it was that the years flew by so quickly. I can still remember the day my parents dropped me off for my first year of college. I can remember opening the door to my dorm room and thinking to myself, “well, this is it.” As my parents drove away that afternoon I couldn’t even think about the days ahead of me. All I could think was that I was finally on my own, in my own space, living (what I thought) my ideal. If only I could have seen what the next four years would bring me. I now know that I have encountered adversity from every angle. Some I expected, most I didn’t.
I have fallen in love and fallen out of good graces. But as I look at it all, the pictures remind me that my memories are priceless. I couldn’t have made it here without the help of those along the way; coworkers, friends, the love of my life, and family. I hope I make them proud, but most of all, I hope I make myself happy. There is nothing in this life worth doing if it doesn’t make you happy.
I am unsure of what the future brings for me, but somehow I don’t care. I know that today I have all I need, and that is enough. Tomorrow will bring what it will; some good, some bad. I don’t need to worry about tomorrow though, I have today. I have the moments, small or big, that make me who I am and define what I have become. I wouldn’t change it for the world, not one minute. And as I stare real life in the face, I can stand tall knowing that what I have overcome and experienced is unique and has created the individual that I am and will be.
Being a receptionist in an academic office, I have come in contact with people of all shapes and sizes and just as many situations. I am happy to say that the majority of the students passing through the door are simply in need of the occasional pep talk/ motivational lecture. However, students who don’t try, enjoy the physics of drinking more than the physics lecture they are enrolled in, or are squandering Daddy’s hard earned cash on the “extra curricular” activities are also regulars.
While I almost never remember the students who try their hardest, it is often difficult to forget those students who bring such interesting and often comical situations into the office. For example, I had a student waltz up to the front desk one afternoon and demand that they see an adviser. When I inquired as to what for, they simply told me that they had changed their major two weeks ago and no one ever switched their classes for them. As I quickly explained that the students are the only ones responsible for what classes they attend, the student grew more and more annoyed. Finally, I signed them in to see an adviser and they were set. After the meeting with the student, the adviser laughed and said the student was angry that the University didn’t have a better system of keeping students “on track”.
Another one of my favorites is the phone call I received one day from a student who was asking about classes. The question I was asked is priceless. They asked, “Are all of your night classes in the evening?” Stifling laughter, I answered that yes, our night classes are all at night or in the evening, hence the name.
I wish I could say that all of the unusual situations are similar to these. Unfortunately, I have seen my fair share of students who must explain away failing grades with the death of a loved one. In fact, not just earlier today I had a student explain to me that the reason she failed her classes a few years ago was because her husband had died suddenly. These are the students to which I pour out my heart. I can not imagine losing a husband, mother, father or sibling. I give all the sympathy in the world to them, and I say a small prayer every time a student trusts me enough to tell me the truth.
I can’t say that my job is all easy. In my two years here I have seen and heard just about it all. With each coming and passing of the semesters, I have new and more interesting stories to tell. I don’t think I will ever forget the students I have come in contact with, answered ridiculous questions for, and helped through the hard times with a smile and a small piece of useful information.
Since I have been a small child I have dreamt about being married. My friends and I used to pretend we had husbands that were always at work, making money so we could make them dinner when they came home hungry and tired. We never saw them and that was alright with us. We were eight and this was all off in the distant future. We could pretend all we wanted, because we knew that some day when we were grown up we would be married and have the dream husbands that we knew we’d always have.
Too bad the dreaming must end. Somewhere along the line dreams either turn into realities or simply “once upon a times”. For some marriage comes easy – the right guy, the right ring, the right wedding, the perfect life. For others, it’s not so great.
For those of us not so well blessed with a life that we always dreamed of, we still struggle to be happy with the way our life is being carried out. Single women in a dog-eat-dog world. When others are getting diamonds, we are are getting new plants to fill our void and remind ourselves that we are still single women wishing for what could be, should be and probably won’t be for a looooong time.
I know I’m still young and shouldn’t be bothered by the happiness of others but I just can’t help thinking that after two years of loving the same man, I should have something more than an empty promise and a far away dream.
If there is one reason I want to be finished with my college experience it would most certainly to forgo the extensive cost of my education. College textbooks, while a undeniable wealth of knowledge, are also the downfall to most students’ already empty bank accounts.
As I am now entering my final “real” semester of college, I can fondly say that I have averaged nearly $300 in books each semester. This total should be taken with a grain of salt as I am a bargain shopper. I am sure that if I had bought my textbooks from the bookstore on campus, my average would be much, much greater.
As I find myself freely giving the precious numbers that hold the key to my hard earned money, I often wonder as to why textbooks are so expensive. Perhaps it was the publisher who decided a new math book is worth $150 or perhaps the author believes their work is worth a poor students’ fortune. I have no idea.
The one thing I do know is that every August and every January I find myself rationing my food, turning off the air conditioner (or heater), and praying that my books will be affordable. Although it never happens, I (the eternal optimist) can always see a glimmer of hope that when I’m a teacher I won’t require my students to choose between eating and learning.
In May of this year I received news that my 76 year old grandmother has been diagnosed with cancer. At the time it was not known what kind of cancer was plaguing her, however, it was known that it was serious. Nearly a month went by without any word or final decision about the cancer type. This was not only disturbing, but very difficult for the family members to believe. How were the doctors able to consider themselves professionals while letting a disease type escape the final diagnosis for so long.
Long story short, my grandmother has anaplastic thyroid cancer. In short this means that she has perhaps six months to live. I can’t believe my grandma would go out of the world like this. This isn’t possible. My grandma has been an influence in my life and I can’t just let her stand by and die of a disease she didn’t deserve.
It has been a long journey, but my grandmother is now finished with her radiaion and chemo treatments. She is still alive, although sometimes it would seem barely so. I am not only worried for her well being, but for my grandfather as well. He is a man who needs his wife. Having been married for 55 years, he knows nothing but life with her. I can’t imagine what his life would resolve to if my grandmother were to pass. I can’t bring myself to think of this, for the tears are too close to the surface, still.
There is seemingly nothing we can do in this short life we call our own, but make the best of what we have and what has been thrown our way. My grandmother is a true blessing and an amazing example of what it is to be a survivor. I can’t even begin to imagine my life without her there, cheering me on to success. I hope I will be able to visit my grandmother for years to come, however, unlikely this may be. And while there is nothing medically I can do for her, I will continue to love, support, and cheer her on until…well, let’s not think of that now.
This morning on the radio I heard a disturbing statistic; nearly 60% of the American population under the age of 30 is unhappy with their jobs. While I believe the accuracy of this statistic, it still boggles the mind to think that over half of the young generation is unhappy. Being that I am in my twenties, I listened as many fellow work-force members called in the the station to say that they are very unhappy with their jobs and are simply putting up with them for the time being. My concern began to grow as I realized that these are people my age, people I go to school with and share commonalities with. As I contemplated this thought, I began to wonder. Am I unhappy with my job? What about the times that I get fed up with it? Does that mean I am unhappy?
When it comes down to it, I realize that while I may be unhappy with the position I hold now, I am not unhappy with my life. I don’t dread getting up in the morning to go to work, because I know that everything I encounter in the hours I spend at work is helping me come closer to another goal. My goal of being a tactful, hard worker who knows how deal with the punches that will be thrown day after day, regardless of my situation. I know that someday I will reach my goal and I will be able to look back at my experience and realize that it was all for the good of making me a stronger person.
Besides these obviously deep and futuristic results, I can say that I know I need any job I can possibly get because of my student status. I am not always available and I am not looking for a career at this moment. I am alright with working the hourly jobs for now, but I know that within a year’s time I will be looking for a teaching position.
Hopefully this will be a job that I can be happy with and count on keeping for a while.
With the finish of the university school year, I have found myself in shock. Not realizing how close the end actually was, I continued on with my life as though nothing was out of place. This however was not the case. The “Blockers” as we have named ourselves, have become a family and with the end of the school year I find myself wondering if this era of Blockers has come to an end, or simply taking a hiatus.
How is an era defined? While the National Hockey League has been asking the same question for over a month, I have not found an answer that is significant to me. Neither has the NHL. Despite that, I believe that the Blockers have created an era of greatness within the Northern Michigan University Department of Education. A family was created, and in the midst of trial and frustration, the same family has become a fiercely protective unit that will stand up against anything that threatens to shake the core of the Blocker establishment.
I don’t think it matters whether or not anyone defines us as a great entity because we know in our hearts that we have created a bond that will never be broken. The Blockers have experienced amazing highs and devastating lows and through it all, we grew closer. There is a family that will always be present and I hope that the Blockers continue to help each other out in the future. I have created friendships that are truly priceless to me; I couldn’t have made it without them.
So it doesn’t matter whether or not we are considered an era by definition. An era has begun and is simply taking a short break before it resumes on August 24. Be ready for the Blockers to rule the world of pre-service teaching for another few months before we pass the torch to another blossoming Block family.
Beginning in January, I was introduced to a new concept: personal learning networks. I was taught that in order to establish a substantial personal learning network, I would need to place myself in a vulnerable and uncomfortable spot. I would need to place myself out for the whole world to see. While this was a new concept to me and I was quite hesitant about it at first, I have slowly become accostumed to the idea and I am happy to say that I have established myself fairly well in a steadily growing PLN.
Perhaps the greatest factor that affected the growth and development of my PLN was my ability to be open and willing to try new things. Becoming a member of Twitter was the first step in building my personal network. As I opened up my horizons and forced myself to accept others on a positive note instead of shutting out everyone but those I was familiar with, I found that I indeed have found a love of meeting new people in a professional context. My personal network now includes educators and technology guru’s from around the world. Everyday I find another new great resource that I could use in my classroom as well as another colleague that is just as excited about teaching and learning as I am!
The benefits of having and building a personal network have been endless so far and I don’t forsee the benefits becoming any less profitable. I have a support system and endless resource pool to pull from when in times of need. Projects and research have been expanded and a love of learning has been renewed in me in the last few months. While I never forsaw the value twitter, blogging and wikispaces would have on my life, but it seems now as though I can’t live without them! I have been transformed from a naiive computer user to a well versed professional with a well established personal learning network that continues to grow, mature and educate.
